An Ode to the Turkey...

It's Thanksgiving...the ONLY holiday that's really worth celebrating. It's a completely secular holiday, built around family, and ther eis no big marketing scam pushing products on unsuspecting buyers. It a time for eating...a time for Football...but mostly a time for eating. Eating Turkey. And then there's some people who just don't get it... Here is a transcript of a discussion I had with one of these individuals...

UncleHerpie (11:49:28 PM): Turkey this!
my sn is nika (11:49:35 PM): *dodges*
my sn is nika (11:49:44 PM): nah, i don't want some bird flu, thanks.
UncleHerpie (11:50:12 PM): please tell me you are not forgoing thanksgiving turkey because of bird flu...
my sn is nika (11:50:29 PM): i'm having ham for thanksgiving
UncleHerpie (11:50:52 PM): you sadden me.
my sn is nika (11:51:21 PM): good.
UncleHerpie (11:51:53 PM): ham....pfffptt
my sn is nika (11:52:15 PM): honey glazed ham from that one ham store = ohsodamngood
UncleHerpie (11:52:52 PM): I hope a turkey pecks you repeatedly on your way to the ham store
my sn is nika (11:53:11 PM): too late
my sn is nika (11:53:15 PM): already have the ham here
UncleHerpie (11:53:30 PM): then I hope you get the hog flu
my sn is nika (11:54:14 PM): there's no hog flu
UncleHerpie (11:54:45 PM): ...that you know of
my sn is nika (11:55:06 PM): no, i know for a fact that there's no hog flu
UncleHerpie (11:55:16 PM): you know nothing of the sort!
my sn is nika (11:55:32 PM): that's because it's not in the news unlike the bird flu!
UncleHerpie (11:55:51 PM): oh, so only things that are on the news are factual?
my sn is nika (11:56:01 PM): i never said that
UncleHerpie (11:56:05 PM): mmm hmmm
my sn is nika (11:56:11 PM): you said that.
UncleHerpie (11:56:11 PM): victory is mine!
my sn is nika (11:56:18 PM): there's no victory!
UncleHerpie (11:56:29 PM): then why am I celebrating?!
my sn is nika (11:56:43 PM): because you celebrate for no reason
UncleHerpie (11:56:49 PM): I do not
my sn is nika (11:56:54 PM): hahaha
my sn is nika (11:56:58 PM): now you're in denial
UncleHerpie (11:57:05 PM): although tomorrow is thanksgiving...which is reason enough to celebrate
my sn is nika (11:57:13 PM): yeah, but that's tomorrow
my sn is nika (11:57:19 PM): so celebrate tomorrow, not today
my sn is nika (11:57:37 PM): and by today, i mean in pacific standard time
UncleHerpie (11:57:44 PM): correction....west coaster
UncleHerpie (11:57:48 PM): yeah
UncleHerpie (11:57:54 PM): I can celebrate all I want
my sn is nika (11:58:06 PM): yeah because i said, you celebrate for no reason
UncleHerpie (11:58:24 PM): no, because technically...it IS Thanksgiving
my sn is nika (11:58:57 PM): so you shouldn't celebrate, but instead, be thankful... of stuff...
UncleHerpie (11:58:59 PM): and I'm gonna have Thanksgiving food, while you are eating Christmas/Easter food
my sn is nika (11:59:24 PM): sure....
my sn is nika (12:05:55 AM): oh yeah, happy thanksgiving there...
UncleHerpie (12:07:52 AM): indeed
my sn is nika (12:08:33 AM): soo... what the heck are you thankful for??!??! HUH!??!?!?
UncleHerpie (12:09:48 AM): ...turkeys
UncleHerpie (12:10:02 AM): ...casserole
UncleHerpie (12:10:06 AM): ...potatoes
UncleHerpie (12:10:23 AM): ummm...biscuits
UncleHerpie (12:10:59 AM): stuffing, onions, cauliflower, broccoli...cider, egg nog, milk....
my sn is nika (12:11:10 AM): how about fruit salad?!?!? HUH!?!?!?
UncleHerpie (12:11:15 AM): sure
UncleHerpie (12:11:38 AM): not gonna waste any space in my stomach with it today...but other days is cool
my sn is nika (12:11:48 AM): hmmmmmmm
UncleHerpie (12:12:06 AM): I'm goin straight to turkey town
my sn is nika (12:12:16 AM): and where is that?
UncleHerpie (12:12:26 AM): Stoughton, MA
my sn is nika (12:12:47 AM): ah.
my sn is nika (12:13:05 AM): for shame... those turkeys can live a better life that this y'know...
UncleHerpie (12:13:23 AM): they have an honorable death
my sn is nika (12:13:33 AM): honorable? how?
UncleHerpie (12:13:40 AM): decapitation
my sn is nika (12:13:47 AM): how's that honorable?
UncleHerpie (12:13:54 AM): it's the classy way to go
my sn is nika (12:14:02 AM): *shakes head*
my sn is nika (12:14:04 AM): for shame.
UncleHerpie (12:14:09 AM): like the guillotine
UncleHerpie (12:14:42 AM): makes a chicken look like a pansy
my sn is nika (12:14:53 AM): -_-
UncleHerpie (12:15:10 AM): what?!
UncleHerpie (12:15:28 AM): eating a pig on it's day off is no less cruel!
my sn is nika (12:15:46 AM): pigs can procreate fast so it's okay
my sn is nika (12:15:56 AM): turkeys... we eat them AND their eggs...
my sn is nika (12:15:58 AM): for shame.
UncleHerpie (12:16:03 AM): pigs celebrate thanksgiving too!
UncleHerpie (12:16:17 AM): who the hell eats turkey eggs?!
UncleHerpie (12:16:23 AM): I sure as shit don't
my sn is nika (12:16:29 AM): i don't either
my sn is nika (12:16:39 AM): but some eat it anyway
UncleHerpie (12:16:49 AM): it would be a waste of a perfectly good tasting turkey


Well, there you have it...Enjoy your Thanksgiving you bastards and bitches...because you'll have to wait an entire fucking year for another one!!

R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero

As some of you may have heard, through me or otherwise...Eddie Guerrero passed away Sunday morning at the age of 38. It is just apsolutely crazy to me that all these wrestlers continue to die. Why did it have to be Eddie Guerrero? He was on the right path...whether it be his faith that kept him grounded, or his 4 year sobriety. He brought himself back from the brink of self-destruction only to perish some years later. Something is NOT right with wrestling. Don't get me wrong, I love it, and I will most likely continue to watch it until the day I die. That being said, something has got to change. The number of Wrestler or wrestler related deaths is astounding...more so than any other sport or physical activity. My only guess is that it stems from the lifestyle that these wrestlers are forced to endure.

To place value on a person's life is wrong, but from a selfish standpoint, from a fan standpoint, this has got to be the worst death for me. Was it sad when Crash Holly died? Yes. Hawk? Yes. I can go on and on. But let's be honest, up until now the only truly heartbreaking moment has got to be Owen Hart. The man died on a national ppv broadcast. I literally watched the man plummet from the rafters, hit the turnbuckle, only to stand up and collapse. That was one of the worst things I have ever seen. Now we come to Eddie Guerrero... Like Owen he was a master of his craft. Without a doubt, one of the greatest to ever lace up a pair of Wrestling boots. I challenge anyone to tell me different. I truly looked forward to watching the man wrestle, because you knew it was going to be a great match. When he won the title for the first time, I literally jumped up and cheered. It's a shame that some wrestlers don't get the credit they deserve, because of their size, or their proportions, or whatever. People fall by the wayside, when it is in fact THEM that keep me watching. The "Christians", the "Matt Hardys", the "Benoits"...all those guys. WWE keeps letting them go, and they get replaced with suck-asses like Snitsky and other "big ugly dudes". These guys need to be treasured, revered, and most of all COMPENSATED for their dedication and consistency. Where is Jericho? Where is Christian? Where is Charlie Haas? Test? Saturn? I mean come on! I'm a goddamn layperson when it comes to the wrestling business...and I KNOW WHAT TO DO! My point is this...Eddie Guerrero died a 1 time champion. He should have been a champion many times over. I think that given the time, he would have been. SO keep your Kurt Angles, keep your Shelton Benjamins, make them into the stars that they should be, because one day, they might be dead, and they won't have gotten the credit they deserve.

Eddie Guerrero was one of my favorites, and not having him to look forward to will certainly hamper my need to watch Smackdown. He was one of the best ever, and this is how I will remember him.

Rest in Peace Eddie.

Poker Standings

The following are the current(as of 11/07/05)poker standings. Each number represents the TOTAL number of over-all victories. Second place is NO place motherfuckers!


Adam - 2(?)
Affie - 0(3)
Al(ex) - 2(?)
Andrew - 0(4)
Evan - 6(21)
Joe - 5(21)
John - 0(1)
Karissa - 2(17)
Kevin - 0(2)
Matt - 0(1)
Nick - 3(19)
Todd - -1(?)


Well there you have it, I'm not going to go ahead and say that this is a direct reflection of the skill level and/or over-all quality of Human Being, but anything that has me at the top, and Todd at the bottom, just has to be right...on soooo many levels...including that one...you sickos.

11/05 Update: Not only did I assume the lead in the poker standings, but I did it in grand fashion. At one point in the game I was down to $1.50 in chips. I came back to eliminate every other person at the table. I put the last 2 jabronies all in on the very last hand, and took them BOTH out at the same time. If only I knew the total number of games that Todd has played in...then I could show beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is indeed the weakest link!


GOODBYE!