Monday, December 04, 2006

Three of a Kind


LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Just when it seemed Michael Richards was about to leave the most troubling incident of his career behind, his publicist is having to explain how the comic could consider himself to be Jewish. Todd Geiger of Watertown, MA, is left wondering, "Why would someone WANT to consider themselves Jewish in the first place?" Stating that raising Jewish children, "really sucks."

Last week, crisis-management expert Howard Rubenstein acknowledged that Richards had shouted anti-Semitic remarks in an April standup comedy routine - well before his appearance earlier this month in which he harangued hecklers with the n-word. But he defended Richards' language about Jews, saying that the comic "is Jewish. He's not anti-Semitic at all. He was role-playing." This came as a big disappointment to Geiger(22), after becoming such a fan of the racially charged comedian. "I was really let down by this... I thought that I had finally found a somewhat mainstream comedian with the guts to expose the Jews for what they are. Up until this point I was limited to searching the internet and through mail order outlets to find this type of comedy." Geiger is one of the few actual "subscribers" to the various Nazi Publications often found on front lawns across America. "Yeah, that's where I first became involved. To think that media like that was freely distributed by one of these great Nazi-American publishers."

As Rubenstein's assertion circulated, Jewish organizations and commentators pointed out that the man who played Cosmo Kramer on "Seinfeld" has not converted to Judaism and neither of his parents are Jewish.

Which makes him ...

"Technically, not having been born by blood as Jewish and not formally going into a conversion, it was purely his interpretation of having adopted Judaism as a religion," "I now know, that because of the Liberal Jew-Run Media, that Mr. Richards was clearly trying to salvage his burgeoning career by apologizing for his comments. It's a shame that a stand-up man like Michael Richards has to sully his reputation by sucking up to the Jew sympathizers.", said Geiger after hearing this information.

What do some Jews think? "Who cares?!", shouts Todd from another room.

"You can't feel Jewish. It's not a matter of feeling. You can convert to Judaism. You can't not convert to Judaism and then be Jewish," said Rabbi Marvin Hier, founder and dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles.

Hier defined being Jewish from two perspectives, if someone hasn't gone through the process of formal conversion.

"From the Orthodox point of view, if that person has a Jewish mother, he would be considered Jewish," Hier said. "In the Reform tradition, there's also a patrilineage. Under those categories, he would not fit."

Rabbi Mark S. Diamond of the 280-member Board of Rabbis of Southern California agreed.

"There are many people who appreciate Jewish customs, who may embrace aspects of Jewish culture and practice, but that does not make them Jewish," he said.

After his tirade came to light, Richards apologized on David Letterman's "Late Show" on CBS, saying his remarks were sparked by anger at being heckled, not bigotry. He also apologized to the Rev. Al Sharpton, and apologized Sunday on the Rev. Jesse Jackson's syndicated radio program.

Rubenstein said Richards wasn't available for an interview Tuesday.

"He wants to rest," the publicist said. "He's been talking to his psychiatrist."

NEW YORK (AP) -- Though he's lost many fans after being captured on video hurling racist epithets at a comedy club audience, Michael Richards has an ally: Mel Gibson. "I felt like sending Michael Richards a note," Gibson says in an interview in Entertainment Weekly's Dec. 8 issue.

"I feel really badly for the guy. He was obviously in a state of stress. You don't need to be inebriated to be bent out of shape. But my heart went out to the guy."

The 50-year-old actor-director added: "They'll probably torture him for a while and then let him go. I like him."

After his Nov. 17 tirade became known, Richards apologized on David Letterman's "Late Show" on CBS, saying his remarks were sparked by anger at being heckled, not bigotry. He also apologized to the Rev. Al Sharpton and on the Rev. Jesse Jackson's syndicated radio program.

Gibson, star of the "Lethal Weapon" movies and director of "The Passion of the Christ," was mired in a scandal of his own this summer for anti-Semitic comments he made to police in Malibu, Calif., during his arrest on suspicion of drunken driving. He publicly apologized.

Are people refusing to work with him?

"No, people aren't like that," Gibson tells the magazine. "Those are just the headlines: Mel ostracized by Hollywood! Hollywood is what you make it. There is no great pooh-bah up there saying, `Go! You are condemned!'"


His new movie, "Apocalypto," from The Walt Disney Co.'s Touchstone Pictures, opens Dec. 8. It is a Mayan-language epic filmed in Mexico chronicling the decline of the native civilization.

He's confident his past remarks will not hurt the movie at the box office.

"It's primarily entertainment," he says of his production. "An 18-year-old college guy, out with his buddies, he's going to get into the chase. The movie will stand on its own, regardless of any unfortunate experience I may have stumbled upon."

"I'm going to see it, so long as those damn Weinstein's aren't involved. I'm glad to see that someone (Mel) has the guts to take on these Jew Bastards by directing and producing his own projects. Screw you Spielberg!", adds Geiger in closing.

Friday, July 07, 2006

MySpace import - Things are afoot...

So, I had 217 Friend requests in a span of about 2 minutes...I'm gonna go ahead and guess that I'm NOT that popular, and it is one of many myspace spam attacks.  That aside, here is what everyone has been waiting for...


(by "everyone" I mean noone")

Work, we all do it...wait...no we don't...I happen to know AT LEAST 2 people who don't work at all.  One of which I have used and abused over the last couple weeks.  Granted, I have paid for every meal, drink, treat, bag of beef jerky, concert ticket, and movie ticket during this period I have used him nevertheless.  I figure, if he has no job, I should make him work right?

Anyway, I'm just gonna create a new paragraph to separate my train of thought from the caboose of a subject that is Todd...I mean...the aformentioned individual.  My real topic is WORK.  As many of you know...I have been doing a shit-ass-big cockhole-motherload of a hell of a lot of it lately.  Many days are topping off between 12-17 hours.  Many of you are either actively trying to convince me to drop the lesser of the 2 jobs, or at the very least wondering when I will quit said job.  I'm gonna highlight my thoughts on the matter.

Is it alot of work? Yes.  Is it taking it's toll on me, both physically and mentally? Yes.  Do I enjoy working 2 jobs? No.  Will I continue to do so regardless of how I feel about it? Yes.  The fact is, I still need the money...and I CAN still gut it out and work both jobs.  As crappy and annoying as the PetCo situation has gotten, what with the new management/old crapagement, and the recent hiring of multiple new employees.  I'll continue to work there until I either can't physically do it anymore or until it becomes so annoying that it is no longer worth devoting my energy to do so.  Let's be honest, that place would be hopeless without someone with shipment night experience and the straight physical abilty to facilitate the necessary tasks AND heavy lifting that those nights entail.  Otherwise Robert would have to do the whole thing himself.  Nice guy that I am, I don't want to force that situation on anyone.  While, it is not as it once was...there is still that small degree of social interaction on those nights.  We have it pretty much down to a science, and we can afford to get a tad ridiculous at times.  It is rather odd that there is a new face there every week, and yet I've only SEEN the manager like 3 times.  I've never spoken to her at legnth, and she works very few hours.  There are some newer employees that have been promoted to "team lead" or "lead sales associate" or some crap, and I'm just waiting for the day they tell me to do someting and I refuse.  The way I see it, my duties there have dwindled down to simply working the shipments.  I don't even wear my petco shirt anymore, because I only work after-hours.  R.I.P Satanoperca Acuticeps ("Devil's Perch Cichlid" for you laypeople)

Now, for lighter topics...

Sun. August 13th is Locobazooka.  I suggest purchasing tickets for the event.  Bands include: Ra, Days of The New, Buckcherry, Wicked Wisdom (Jada Pinkett-Smith's rock band...), and finally ALICE IN CHAINS!  They will be accompanied by a plethora of local and unsigned bands.  We went last year and it was a good time and a good show.  I'm not going to rant about fucking BOLTON, MA...the shittiest crap-town that ever shitted crap.  Fuckers.

*grumbles*

There will be some good music, probably some food/drink, and one can hope...boobs.  So, get your tickets and we cal all go as a big group.  So far there are 8 of us going. Go to ticketmaster.com or locobazooka.com for more info.  So that's that, take it for what it's worth...jerks.






P.S.      FUCK BOLTON!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

New cars are better...

Step 1: Get a new car {check}
Step 2: Get a new Job {check}
Step 3: Get a new Girlfriend
Step 4: Get out of Debt

1/2 way there bitches!

For those wondering...it was a 2005 Nissan Sentra Special Edition.



Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Saturday, March 18, 2006

V for Vendetta

Remember, remember, the fifth of November,

The gunpowder treason and plot.

I know of no reason why gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Suck my Hiatus!

Hey, screw you! I can't be expected to update this thing all the time. So, I'll fill you in with recent happenings. They are as follows:

1) I started one of those MySpace thingamajobbers. UncleHerpie's MySpace
So, if you are reading this, and are NOT my friend... Get with the times!


...jerk.

2)I got so amazingly sick, that I thought I was going to die. I even had my first experience with hallucinating on one of the nights. For whatever reason, I thought that everything I did had a bearing on World Events, including but not limited to; commerce and peace. I even had to arrange the pillows on my bed, of which there are many, in a certain way. The scary part about hallucinating is when you catch yourself doing it. Fuck that, it was perhaps the worst night of my life...which makes me wonder why people take drugs to INDUCE that hellish nightmare! So, in one of my sane moments I decided to take a shower, because as we all know, a good shower can probably cure cancer. That being said, cancer ain't got nothing on whatever the fuck I had. So I started with a hot shower, but I had a fever, and couldn't even feel it. I know it was hot as shit, because the steam was abundant. I changed my temperature to a cooler one, and sat down in the shower. This seemed to work a little better, and I was able to mutter to myslef, utterly naked, that it was mind over matter, and I wasn't going crazy. To make matters worse, whatever I had was graciously passed on to Andrew, who in turn, thought he was a piece of furniture. To cap it all off (beware...gross), I had one lovely morning where I had the honor of experiencing a mass evacuation of various bodily fluids. I got up to go the bathroom, when I promptly realized that I was going to vomit (which is VERY rare for me), luckily my bathtub is directly in front of my toilet. I was able to lean forward and vomit my entire stomach contents, namely Tang, into the tub. The convulsions of my vomiting then made by bowels violently evacuate themselves, followed by the loss of bladder control. Keep in mind, at this point I still had a fever, and all this activity was making me sweat quite profusely. Couple that with the tears and snot and spit and mucus that came along with the vomiting, and you have yourself a lovely mental image. At the end of my "episode", I almost laughed...almost. I was like a fucking joke, only it wasn't very funny.

3) The Job situation is starting to look up, as I've started my management training at PetCo. As much as I love being an "Aquatic Specialist", it's all about the money at this point. I also have a potential opportunity as a sales rep for Polar Beverages, which would also alot me a decent vehicle expense compensation package. Man, it would be nice to drive a car that HAS an exhaust system.

4) I lost a shit-ton of my cichlids due to the ever popular Malawi Flesh-Eating Bacteria. Funny thing is, it didn't limit itself to killing my Malawi Cichlids...it was a non-discriminative flesh-eating bacteria apparantly. I won't bother listing all the deaths, let's just say it was significant. All in all, I'd say I lost about 30 fish.

5) After much delay, Andrew, Affie, and I have finally begun watching "Bleach", and so far so good. I can tell it's gonna be a badass series. It has the sweet duality thing going, you know...funny AND badass.

6) I also started my own nation at NationStates.net. If you haven't already done so, DO so! When you get started, look for the region "Once Forgotten" and join our amalgamation of nations. The password to get in is: "password"

The Borderlands of Clamtasia
Now get to it...fucker.

7) I hate you Todd.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Bank of America can suck my balls.

ME:
At some point, shouldn't the card have been shut off or
restricted? I can take the blame for overdrawing my account initially,
as I seem to have thought I had more money than I actually had. But to
hit me with 8 overdraft fees totalling upwards of $250 is a little too
much to grasp. If you'll notice, the majority of the charges were very
small (i.e. $2.76), as I was simply buying a drink and a candy bar at
work, not knowing that it was costing me $36. I NEVER received ANY
notice until Dec. 24th, at which point it was far too late. All in all,
this situation could easily have been avoided. I would appreciate any
help on the matter. Thank you.

Evan Dumas

p.s. Should I contact my branch manager?



B.o.A:

Thank you for your inquiry dated 12/27/05 regarding Regular Checking -
0277 Overdraft Protection. Your concerns are very important to us.

Although we are not obligated to pay an item presented if your account
does not have sufficient funds, we may pay it as a courtesy. This
occurrence may warrant an insufficient funds or overdraft fee to be
assessed to your account.

Also note that we are unable to refund any overdraft fees for two or
more occurrences unless the overdraft fee is due to a bank error. Our
research indicates the fees were applied correctly and no error
occurred. Unfortunately, we are unable to provide you with a refund.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. If we may be
of further assistance, please contact us again by e-mail.

Sincerely,

{blank} Winslet
Bank of America


ME:

I understand that it was my error that first allowed the account to be
overdrawn. However, I was not even given NOTICE until 10 days after it
happened, nor was the card shut off to PREVENT such charges from
continuing. On top of that, you then asessed a "monthly maintenence fee AND hit me with another overdraft charge for it! I'm usually not one to make ¨threats¨, but I simply cannot afford to have such a thing happen again. I'm sorry to say that I may
begin looking into other banking possibilities in order to prevent it.



B.o.A:

Thank you for your inquiry dated 1/11/06 regarding Re: Regular Checking
- 0277 Overdraft Protection.

We apologize for the inconvenience. As of June 1, 2005, overdraft or
insufficient funds fees are assessed against your account based on the
number of overdraft fee occurrences on your account as shown below:

- 1 occurrence: $19.00 per item
- 2-4 occurrences: $31.00 per item
- 5+ occurrences: $34.00 per item

An occurrence refers to the number of days that an overdraft or
insufficient funds item presented against your account during the
preceding 12-month period. The rolling 12-month period includes the
current calendar month plus the previous 12 calendar months.

We are unable to refund any overdraft fees for two or more occurrences
unless the overdraft fee is due to a bank error. Our research indicates
the fees were applied correctly and no error occurred. Unfortunately,
we are unable to provide you with a refund.

If we may be of further assistance, please contact us again by e-mail.
Thank you for choosing Bank of America.

Sincerely,

{blank} Barnett
Bank of America



ME:

I understand the policy, I'm telling you that I don't agree with the implementation. It was clearly an effort to usurp the funds for the benefit of the bank, rather than for the "protection" of the account holder. I lost $300 on candy bars! Thank you for ruining Christmas.





Am I out of line here? I never expected the actual president of Bank of America to actually respond to my email, but I did expect one of the customer service jabronies to get back to me. After about a week (they said 12 hours), I finally got a response, and it said the same shit as the last customer service goon's reply. Overdraft "protection" my hairy, white ass! Fuckers.