As per request, let us delve into the inner workings of NudeUnderArmor. I'd say we have a well rounded team at this point. Due to Last Shenanigan's absence, the rest of us have been forced to pick up the slack. Thus far, aside from the occasional shady occurrence, team killing, and outright cheating...we have been up to the task. Especially on Relic...it's a rare thing if we get outclassed on Relic, we seem to have that map worked out just right. At any rate, let's examine the general roles of each semi-active member of the clan.
Last Shenanigan: It would seem that the Halo gods shine down upon him. He is usually in a constant state of Juggernaut settings...until you see him actually become the Juggernaut...then it's just obscene. His roles include sniping, jump sniping, round the corner sniping, sniping through explosions, diversionary sniping, rocketing, grenading, mid-range battle-rifling, melees, assassinations, tank driving(Wraith and Scorpion), friendly fire, friendly grenades, throwing empty weapons at incoming plasma grenades, and a general knack for outright team killing (by team I mean THE WHOLE TEAM). It doesn't matter if you are 98% done arming a bomb and you are on his team...he's going to shoot you in the face with a rocket. To put it simply, he's an asshole.
FlurbyBox: A skilled player who can often be found causing havoc unto the other team. Easily the second most skilled member of the clan. He's generally the secondary sniper, often taking up the mantle for Shenanigan should he care to kill you or others with a different array of weapons. He's a monster mid range battle-rifler, and a general asset to the team. He will often go on a complete rampage and rack up as many, if not more kills than the entire rest of the team. He has become quite skilled with the Scorpion Tank, especially on Containment. He likes his women like he like his chicken...
fried.
Reaper42: The Melee Machine. Due to him adopting the "boxer" settings as a controller scheme, he can usually be found in the midst of about 4 to 8 members of the opposite team. While he will most likely perish, you had better bet your bottom dollar that he's taking a bunch of them out with him. He has perfected the use of the shotgun, and can actually kill an ass-load of people with it...god knows how. His kills tend to greatly outweigh his deaths...unless he's on Terminal...then...well...it's pretty damn ugly...
just like him...har har har
Alerys: "The Runaway Kid" as he's known in some circles. Don't even bother chasing him if you hear him utter the words, "Mother!"...it's all a ploy to lure you in. His goal is to lead you as far through the level as possible, so as to be killed by another combatant. Not that you could catch him anyway, he's a slippery devil with a bullet-proof iron plate in his back. Don't let his cowardly outward appearance fool you, he'll tear you to sheds with a battle rifle. With his recent acquisition of a larger HDTV, this skill is bound to improve. You can never count him out, even if it seems that you will beat him without a shadow of a doubt. He has a 72 foot lunge technique that noone else has perfected, and he will employ this tactic in a last act of desperation. Also, beware of throwing frag grenades at him, as he is also known to shoot them out of the air just as it leaves your hand.
CommieKitty: Well, she's a girl. Yet, she's good at Halo...which is a Video Game...I don't understand it either. Nevertheless, she's a skilled player who seems to play just as well when she's piss drunk as when she is sober. She can often be found chatting up a storm in a private pre-game lobby or even on a map. Because of her popularity, she has some high-ranking friends that enjoy playing with her, thus increasing her rank. Luckily for her, she can back up her acquired rank on any given day. It's obvious to me that she has a thing for UncleHerpie, and wants to have his babies.
BabyHerpie?
BlueSol: Generally known as "Sonic", as it was his original gamertag that he used...to harass, yell at, and generally annoy people into liking him. He can often be found chatting up a storm with CommieKitty. He's a good sniper, even if he often allows the other team to take possession of it. He's pretty competent in a vehicle, as he is often racking up kills in a Banshee or a Ghost. He is easily the Clan-hoppingest Whore there ever was, even putting the infamous Reaper to shame.
GodDuck: *resists the urge to omit him completely* Where to begin? Easily the worst person to ever drive a warthog. He'll run you over, run you down, run into you, run you into a rock, or a tree, and may even run you straight into a wall or off a cliff. He's contantly in your way no matter the circumstance, but he's nowhere to be found when you might need an extra gun. If he's not in your way, then he's apart from the team altogether....more than likely shooting at rocks. He has a general lack of motivation to play, and when he does, he pays little attention to what he is doing. He will return an enemy flag to it starting position after you killed an entire team just to get it out of their base. The sad part of all this is simply: HE WAS AN AMAZING HALO 1 PLAYER!!! I hate you Todd.
Dunbar79: If there is anyone who bitches more than I do...it's Dunbar. Everyone is out to get him, and none of the weapons work for him. Despite his insistence that the shotgun is a useless hunk of scrap metal, he won't hesitate to pick it up and attempt to gun down an enemy at mid-range...while they are plastering him with battle rifle rounds. He runs at about 1/2 speed, and it's even worse if he is holding a bomb or flag. He often complains about not having decent weapons, when in fact, it's just that he doesn't go looking for them. He has not memorized even the original maps that were contained on the disc itself. He can often be found cowering inside a base avoiding the battle altogether...which is just where his teammates want him. The strange thing about it is the fact that he is excellent at Single Player Halo. If he can overcome the bitterness in his heart and the unwavering dissatisfaction in his very core, he will emerge from his veil of hatred and be a decent Halo player.
...full of hate.
I won't bother detailing the extraneous(word of the day) players in the clan, perhaps when they become more active...but they include: Ronnie06, MrGuardo, FroggieZ, KillaKay47, and Edible Mustache
That being said...it bring me to the final member of the clan...
UncleHerpie: Recently deemed "The Thin Brown Line" He is often the last line of defense in the majority of objective games such as Assault and Capture the Flag. While he has become adept at mid-range battle-rifling, he often reverts to his trusty dual-wielding weapon combo, of the SMG/Plasma Rifle variety. A good all-around player, who always gets the shit-end of the stick...y grenade. A constant complainer who feels it necessary to share his pain via the "white button" for all to hear. He is constantly badgering random sucky players that he is forced to team with. He lives up the moniker "The Thin Brown Line of Defense" because if you see that he's the only one in the base and his icon is flashing yellow and red you had better believe that some SHIT is about to go down.
Learn it, love it, and accept it as truth.
-UncleHerpie-
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